Various Vignettes and Moments Captured

Thailand . . . the land of "A" smile . . .

Thailand touts itself as being the “land of smiles.” Vegas sized billboards, boarding passes, menus, T-shirts, shop windows, busses, business cards, school posters, and all manner of advertisement ubiquitously announce that this particular plot of soil is where the seed for a smile was originally planted and where it most abundantly flourishes. I would argue that Thailand is the land of “A” smile.

Thai people, after all, are just people like the rest of us and have in no way been genetically modified to have a particular propensity for curling the corners of their lips up towards the heavens in kindness and welcome. People here, like everywhere, are individual and difficult to pack tightly into a single mold. There are those who scowl and glare in truculent animosity, and there are those who have no other facial expression, but a smile, rendering it mundane and meaningless. There are old people, young people, rich people, poor people, people who make their money illegally, and those who would rather give a meal away for free than accept corrupted currency. There are people who are magnanimous, kind, honest, and devoted to caring for their family and friends, and there are people who selfishly hoard their earnings and have no problem slighting someone else for their own gain. These traits are not endemic to any particular people or place in the world; they are simply what make up the fabric of a community . . . any community . . . globally.

But this country, this place, this plot of land is singular in that it is home to “A” smile – a hybridized version of the gesture that is shared all across the globe and universe, for all we know. Not everyone possess it’s magic and even fewer are able to deliver it with ease and proficiency . . . many never attempt it and most don’t even know it exists. But live here for a month, 6 months, a year and it becomes apparent that there is “A” smile and when someone wields its power, it is the warmest, most encouraging, and open embrace a person can receive.

I don’t think that Thai people smile more than the rest of the world’s population and for the most part they don’t do it better, but there is a small portion of the populace that have smiles so deep in their hearts that they have perfected wearing them on their faces and it’s a treasure to be given such a gift. It’s an experience that eludes my vocabulary and leaves me searching for a worthy description. But one knows when they’ve been the beneficiary of such a deed, because minutes later, long after the exchange, a smile still marks their face and lights their eyes; they feel lighter, like someone saw their soul, all that makes them pure and true and all that they have done to tarnish themselves – and still they rendered them worthy of “A” smile . . . a clean slate . . . a fresh start and the first step of that new beginning is placed on a foundation of love, understanding, forgiveness, and encouragement. This smile is an art that there is no perfecting, because it is organic and comes naturally to its possessor.

Thailand is the land of “A” smile and it is a smile like no other.



Naam Jai . . .

I took a linguistics class in college and we spent weeks discussing the phenomena of language. We talked about and studied all of the different theories regarding the way in which language came about, how it’s learned, what it is about the innocent plasticity of a child’s mind that makes acquiring language easier than it is for adults, and on and on and on. I remember asking everyone I knew what they thought about it and getting into deep conversations and sometimes heated debates. As an English teacher of native speakers it was merely interesting, because by the time my students got to me the language was already ingrained in them, it came naturally. As an English teacher of Thai nationals it once again becomes not only fascinating, but important to deciphering what it is that makes a person cognitively understand language.

It was with this train of thought that I was struck by how much of a language cannot be directly translated or even understood in any manner, but contextually. A friend asked me the other day what the word for “naam jai” is in English and I fumbled for an explanation because we don’t have an English equivalent. So, I explained that directly translated it means “water heart,” but that an English speaking person wouldn’t know what that was referring to, or what it meant.

During my first three months of training my language teacher encouraged, begged, and pleaded that we attempt to break ourselves of the habit of directly translating, because while there are hundreds and thousands of words that have an equal counterpart, there are also hundreds and hundreds of them that are ideas, customs, and expressions which simply do not live within our American culture. I could not wrap my mind around the notion that there are aspects of this new and challenging language that absolutely have no correlation to English. We are all humans, our physiology is identical, our basic needs consist of the same things, we laugh, cry, bleed, and sweat the same and yet there is a limit to our ability to communicate.

I live in a country which parallels the west in few ways and yet I exist upon the western foundation of my 24 years. I study the language every day, I converse with my neighbors, friends, counterparts, and students in their native tongue; I participate in the culture and customs and slowly I begin to live the language in a way translations never allow. Small pieces of my American framework are extracted, like a risky game of Jumanji, but it never topples over because the vulnerable portions are quickly filled with a Thai concept, one which I never realized I had made my own until I understood that I lived the idea, accepted the idea, appreciated and approved of the idea, without ever giving it a western definition – I simply experienced it day after day after day until Naam Jai became a part of my makeup, one which cannot be defined.

I am still grappling with the idea that language is more conceptual than academic in most regards, and often find it hard to turn my Thai to English dictionary of brain off and just experience the language as I live it. “Naam Jai” means “water heart.” This means that our generosity, love, trust, support, strengths, and achievements should be fluid, easily washing back and forth from one life to the next. It’s a trading of favors, goods, and kindnesses from one family to another, from one neighbor to another, from one friend to another, from one heart to another. It’s the idea that nothing in this life is completely mine until everyone else possesses it as well. It’s the thought that taking care of others needs should always come before taking care of our own. And in this vein it becomes apparent that “water heart” just doesn’t cut it and that unless you witness the occurrence of “naam jai” everyday words are not significant enough to encompass a true and complete definition.



Wonderland of English Camp . . .

I know what you must be thinking, “wonderland of English camp??? What kind of title is that???” It’s equally disturbing and embarrassing to me, but let it illustrate something about Thai people. English Camps are supposed to be planned in equal proportions by the volunteer and counterpart; however this is rarely the case. The first thing that must be concurred is giving an English Camp a name. My ideas were things that reflected the theme, had lots of alliteration, or were straight forward and to the point . . . in all honesty is was about the last thing on earth I was willing to deem important when planning this thing. But, to a Thai person it’s the MOST important. Camps get called things like, beautiful English camp, lovely English camp, English is fun camp, happy English camp, amazing English camp, enjoy English camp – feel free to look up any of the adjectives provided for a more extensive list of potential English Camp titles. So, we come up with “wonderland of English camp” and I don’t argue because there are real things that need to be dealt with, and that is where the help ends. My counterpart got what she wanted and washed her hands of the rest of the planning. This is something that I am used to and really I am better at feeling like I am in complete control, so didn’t mind being left to it . . . and believe me when I say that the rest of the camp was a lot less cheesy.

It was a big enough camp that I was able to ask two additional volunteers to come and help out. My good friends, Bethany and Noelle wanted to see my site, get out of theirs, and were excited about putting on a good camp. Generally these camps are really frustrating because they take a lot of time and preparation for very little outcome . . . in other words, kids can’t learn a year’s worth of material in two days. So, instead of coming up with all new topics and trying to make the thing meaningful we had two days of games, snacks, lunches, and review. Each station, like at all camps, was in charge of teaching a specific topic and each topic was one we had covered throughout the year and I knew they would see on their final tests.

The whole thing was fabulous! We were on time or early, which is unheard of, the food was delicious, which is a rare treasure, the students were enthusiastic and excited, and the games were fun and completely entertaining time wasters. Usually I walk away from a weekend like this feeling like I need about a month of hibernation before a complete recovery, but it was fun and really rewarding and left me feeling ready for a third day.

The students too, were hoping for an extension at the close of the camp on Saturday, but I’m pretty sure that had nothing to do with their dedication to learning the English language and everything to do with the stickers! As a reward system each teacher had a pile of stickers with them at their station; when a student answered a particularly hard question, participated extra enthusiastically, or did something above and beyond they received a sticker. We were going to get prizes for the team that earned the most stickers and the three individual students earning the most, but they were so excited just to be getting them that we decided we didn’t need to.

It was hilarious, they were little fiends. Every single correct answer or example of good behavior was met with shrieks and pleas for stickers. They tried stealing the pages of them, they tried prying them from each other’s name tags, and they went absolutely nuts when they got one legitimately. At the end of the last session on Saturday we were just emptying the pages and handing them out at random and somehow a page of them ended up in the hands of some greedy little brats. Bethany walked past a huddle of kids who were shushing each other as she approached, thinking something suspicious was going on she entered the mess and found a bunch of sticker addicted kids applying the stolen morsels to their nametags. We needed a sticker IV!

I don’t know how much English they learned, but they all went home smiling and stickered up.

Virginia . . .

Alberto did it again. He promised that we would see each other again before I come home and he made it happen. In the middle of February he got me a plane ticket and flew me to Virginia, where he is completing the rest of his training. It was about this time that the weather decided to test my patience and went nuts. Only days before my plane was set to take off multiple feet of snow fell on Virginia and the DC area, threatening to delay if not cancel my flights. No need to worry, someone out there was looking out for me and I made it to the good U. S. of A. without a hitch.

Aside from Alberto, the first thing I saw when evacuating the airport was SNOW!!! I miss the cool weather in an unhealthy way. I wanted to throw myself at it, hug it, eat it, cry into it, and pack some of it to take back with me. I also quickly realized how long it had been since I lived in the states and how new and exciting things felt. I was like a giddy little kid, everything felt so special and extravagant to me that I just couldn’t get enough of any of it. My first night there we went to dinner and then headed to the base, where I was put up in a hotel. The next day Alberto had classes and so I was left to conquer some of my jetlag and get rested for the week. I didn’t do a whole lot of resting, it was too much fun to be home again and I couldn’t make my mind shut up.

We stayed another night on base and then moved hotels so we would be closer to DC, where we spent most of our time. When Alberto was here it was all about finding new foods, unique experiences, and showing him the ropes. This trip was opposite in that we went in search of all the things I miss and love most about living in the states. We ate great food, went to movies, walked the streets, slept in a fabulous bed, I took an actual bath, and understood every single channel on the T.V. It was amazing.

It also felt like exactly where I was meant to be. I had never before been to Virginia and the week I spent in DC was in a homeless shelter for an alternative spring break trip, so it wasn’t home . . . but it immediately felt like it. Alberto is home, America is home, cool weather and good food are home, and my family and friends are home. There were so many things that felt perfectly right, and when I reflected upon what it was that made me feel so strongly connected to a place I would spend 5 days the answer was obvious – when I have something on my mind no matter how trivial or profound my first reaction is to turn to Alberto and say it, when I am sad, lonely, or feeling blue I wrap myself in his embrace and don’t feel quite so vulnerable anymore, when I go to make a meal it is instinctual to ask what he wants, when I start to make plans my first question is always regarding what he thinks. My hands miss being held, my thoughts miss being listened to, and my heart misses his presence - I had it all back again for a few days and it felt like my “real life,” like what every day is supposed to feel like.

We didn’t do anything spectacular. We stayed in a nice hotel, ate great meals, watched entertaining movies, spent hours at a book store, talked, laughed, cuddled, and enjoyed being able to love each other in person again for a time. Five days in his arms was all it took.

When I got home I was surprisingly content. There weren’t a lot of tears or long days spent moping around wishing I never had to come back. I returned and I jumped right back into my life. I know now that this was because I had already made a huge decision and it felt good to not have the doubt, the worry, and the constant struggle looming over me anymore. Thailand is a beautiful place and the people I have encountered here are among the finest I have ever known. I love my little house (no matter how hot it gets), I cherish my time with my neighbors, my counterparts are genuinely good teachers and people, my students will always be some of my very favorite, and the friends I have made through Peace Corps will remain my friends forever, but there isn’t enough need for me here to warrant another whole year of my life.

I live five minutes from an American style coffee shop, my schools have the money and the means to hire a native English speaking teacher, my community is well off and has little need for a Farang except in the form of a mascot. Thailand just needs Peace Corps volunteers in a much smaller capacity than other Peace Corps countries do and I feel like I have done what I can for my community. So, I am going to finish up the projects I have in progress, spend one more term with my students and counterparts and then head home. I am in the middle of a reading and library program project that is going really well, I have been asked to develop a listening component to add to the current curriculum which I will finish in the next two months, I am going to paint my two world maps, hold a series of teacher trainings, and teach every single day of the next term. I have signed up for the GRE and will be taking it in April and am in the middle of applying for a graduate program for Library and Information Sciences. If all works out according to plan I will be heading back sometime at the beginning of November and will start school in the spring.

I feel nothing, but a sense of relief and excitement. This has been the experience o f a lifetime and the things I have to complete in my time remaining will be my legacy – students will have the materials necessary to continue their learning in an environment that fosters success and not fear, my counterparts speak the language and have the skills now to truly benefit their schools, and my community and I will always remain good friends. But, I am excited to get back to my life and I feel completely at peace with my decision. I have been a happier, easier going, and light hearted volunteer ever since I got back and that is because I am no longer carrying within me this huge debate. Attending school again is a major draw, but love was really the only one I needed . . . I’m ready to get back to my future.

Ten Days of Christmas and a Happy New Year

Usually I sit down to update my blog only after I have spent at least a week working through all the details in my head, coming up with just the right way to talk about the experiences I’m having here. Ideas float through my mind and play themselves out in my dreams hundreds of times before I commit them to the semi-permanence this format entails. This one, however, hasn’t at all played along with my need to pre-plan, re-plan, think through, list, contemplate, evaluate, and over analyze every single detail of my life as a Peace Corps volunteer. Whenever I would sit down and write, “update blog,” on my list of things to accomplish I was frustrated at the lack of reaction this elicited; now I am certain that this is because there are no words that properly speak to the gift of spending time with one’s family.


My trip started out with another fun filled weekend with Brooke and Arnie at Perfect Place (I’m not making that up, it is truly the name of his housing development and couldn’t be closer to the truth). We sat around enjoying good company, cable T.V., and Brooke’s contagious energy. We saw a movie, ate great food, and went on nice walks and rides around the area. It was fun to be away from site for a while and live more like a westerner for a few days, but there was no containing the anticipation rolling around in my heart waiting for Monday morning when I would once again be reunited with my mom, dad, and brother.

Monday morning wasn’t just any Monday morning in my life; this particular Monday morning just so happened to mark my 24th birthday and brought with it my Krap-krua (family in Thai). They landed at the international airport in Bangkok around 11:30 a.m. and found their way to me about thirty minutes after that. I stood along with all the other anxious and excited greeters of family members, friends, and loved ones while I waited to spot one of them. There was more than one occasion during those thirty minutes, the longest of my life, when I wanted to reach out smack someone! I mean come on!!!! I am obviously vertically challenged and going out of my mind with eagerness and these fools have the nerve to stand in front of me and block my stinking view . . . but, I need not worry, because in the land of little people my dear brother, Cody, stood out like an aged tree in a pasture of seedlings. I saw that head full of curly hair, a full foot above anyone else, heading my way and I couldn’t help but do a little jig and throw myself into his arms. Cody has a lot of things I love about him – one of them is that he knows how to give a hug, so it was fitting that he should be the first to embrace me. My Mom was next in line and this time I didn’t do so much of a spastic dance, but I did notice some minor condensation collecting in my eyes (ok, so I might have spilled a tear or two . . . did you really expect anything less???). My Dad was the last of the three and as each one passed through the gate and into my arms it got more and more special . . . I couldn’t contain myself.

We set out for our hotel and spent the rest of the day and a large part of the next in Bangkok. Our first meal in Thailand was at an Egyptian restaurant, which might seem an odd choice, but the food was out of this world and Cody was able to enjoy a grape hookah while we ingested more food than an army probably should have. We wandered around and got to know the lay of the land for two days before we headed for the bus station and bus that would take us down south. Hailing a cab is never very hard to do in the city, but actually getting where you want to go without being driven in circles for an hour before hand is a far greater feat; on this particular day we got lucky. The cab driver recognized my limited ability to speak Thai and used it as an opportunity to chat with Cody and brush up on his English, while he quickly and efficiently got us there. This would be the first of many encounters where Cody captured the attention and enthusiasm of a Thai person. They all wanted to know what he did, how old he was, what kind of food he liked, if he had a girlfriend and regardless of the answer, if he wanted a Thai girlfriend; inevitably the conversation would end with them suggesting that he move to Thailand and start teaching immediately . . . I don’t know what it was, but they LOVED him.

We parted ways with the driver and loaded ourselves onto a double-decker bus. I was fully prepared for the journey upon which we were about to embark, but I’m not all together certain that I made it clear to my beloved family. It was an overnight bus that took us from central Thailand all the way down to the edge of the southern portion of the country and lasted twelve hours in all. Torture wasn’t my intention and there was a stop along the way, in my defense, but in retrospect it probably wasn’t the greatest plan after they had just been on a twenty-two hour trip around the world to get here . . . my bad.

Like I mentioned a second ago, the bus did make one stop to allow for the stretching of legs, the draining of bladders, and the filling of bellies. There is room for disagreement on that last point, however, as the culinary options were a bit limited, and by that I mean that they had tables set up with baskets covering food that may have been sitting out for multiple hours in the heat and consisted of pork balls (don’t ask, you don’t want to know) and pickled eggs, which are a grayish purple color. Again, I was fully prepared for this generous offer of a free meal, but didn’t really anticipate needing to intervene on behalf of the parentals. So, I stood by and watched their reactions as that basket was lifted from the plates of food, and laughed hysterically to myself as my Dad turned a bit green and obviously began to panic; pleadingly his eyes met my Mom’s, screaming “please Lona, please help me!!!! We cannot eat this . . . we can’t!!!” My Mom’s reaction was bit more of a surprise, since she generally likes all food and is always up for a new challenge . . . on this particular occasion, however, she wasn’t feeling it and also chose to decline. Instead we each sipped on an orange juice and my dad passionately relayed the story to Cody, who just returned from the restroom.

The bus dropped us off in Krabi, where we booked tickets for the ferry that was to take us out to Koh Phi Phi (the island on which the movie “The Beach” was filmed). The man who sold us the boat tickets was about my size (average for a Thai individual) and, like they all did, became enamored with Cody. We took advantage of the chance for a good photo-op to show just how big he seemed around all these tiny people. Finally, after about 14 hours of travel, we landed in paradise. The resort we stayed in was quite the find. We stayed in a villa all our own, which consisted of three separate bedrooms with adjoining bathrooms, a communal area, hammocks, and sun bathing beds. It was huge, luxurious, beautiful, and felt like an enchanted tree house, with actual tree trunks coming up from the center of the floor in various locations, small twinkling lights, magnificent art, and a picturesque view of the ocean from the living space. It was unbelievable. The next five days were spent lounging around a beach, drinking fruity drinks, eating great meals, and people watching during the day; wandering through the little island town, finding dinner, shopping, and more people watching at night. We stayed on Koh Phi Phi through Christmas and simply enjoyed being together, having the chance to catch up, and sharing lots and lots of hugs. The next day we took a snorkeling trip out to a small island which houses a large population of monkeys and then to the actual beach on which the movie was filmed (it has since been turned into a national park and is absolutely beautiful).

When it was time to say goodbye to the life of ease we had been living, no one was particularly thrilled – but everyone at my site was eager to meet them so was set off anyway. Opting out of another twelve hour bus ride and finding travel extremely cheap once in country, we flew back to Bangkok and then took a two hour cab ride to my site. I lost my phone on the plane and wasn’t able to contact anyone on the way back and it was late, so I dropped my Mom and Dad off at the hotel and Cody and I headed to my house to call my counterpart from my computer to let her know I was there and lost my phone. As we walked into my house I was greeted by a musty smell and started searching for the source – I found my kitchen, laundry/storage room, and bedroom sitting in an inch of stagnant water. A pipe in my kitchen burst while I was away and my house flooded. Not exactly a fun thing to come home to, but my family was around and I wasn’t going to let it get to me.

The next morning, their first in Ban Chang, my counterpart, Tip, and my friend Tu came to the hotel and took us to my house. We spent the whole morning and afternoon cleaning up the mess and drying things out. It wasn’t exactly the most fun thing that could happen on a vacation, but it was nice to have them here. Tip went back to school, I got a new cell phone, and my fam headed back to the hotel to rest up before we went on an adventure that night. Tip, Tu, Tip’s daughters and husband, and two other teachers I regularly interact with all came together and took us to a sunflower field – they don’t really understand that we have them at home, so we smiled for the pictures and acted like it was the coolest thing we have ever seen. Then it was off to the beach for a seafood feast . . . and feast we did. They ordered at least fifteen different dishes and just kept shoveling the food on to plates . . . it may have been a bit overwhelming, but it was certainly delicious.

The following day was one of my favorites because I took them to go see my elementary school. The students were awe-struck with the sudden invasion of foreigners and were so excited to have them there that they did a dance in their honor. It was out of this world cute. After the show they all gravitated towards Cody and sat checking out this giant that just showed up; they could not understand how we were related and kept talking about how big he was and how small I am. They are all still talking about it (like I haven’t put up with midget jokes my whole life, now I’m getting it here too) and they think it is hilarious to tell me that I am the only Thai person in my family because the rest of them are too tall to fit in. My students weren’t the only excited people that day, my counterpart Took was beside herself with pride that I would bring my family to meet them and my principal took the opportunity to sit my Mom, Dad, and Cody down and explain to them all that they were taking good care of me and that under no circumstance was he going to let me go home early . . . it was a really special day.

That night we met back up with the gang from the night before and went on a tour of temples and had another huge meal, only this time it was home made. I was excited that my family was able to see where Tip lived and what a traditional Thai house looks like. We had BBQ chicken, shrimp, fried rice, soup, fruit, chips of various flavors, french fries, and probably a few other things that I’m forgetting. When it was all said and done we ate for well over two hours and none of us could have fit one single morsel more into our ever expanding waist bands. Thai people are superstar hosts and they were at their very best for this visit. I was proud of my community and overjoyed that my family could be a part of what I am doing here for a brief moment.

It was back to Bangkok for the New Year and then they were off. We spent the New Year close to the hotel in a bar filled with prostitutes and old foreign men. It wasn’t as dirty as I make it sound, but I’m jaded so I can’t help it. Everyone was really excited and the energy was light hearted and fun and all the x-rated junk was saved for a more private venue. So, it ended up being a fun time – we brought the New Year in together, as a family, and then headed back to the hotel. The next day we had to say goodbye again and I’m not going to write about that because I’m still not over it and probably won’t ever be – so, enough said.

It’s rare to get to have an experience like am having and even more unusual to have the opportunity to share it with the people you love most in the world. My life is nothing but a blessing and it’s full of precious gifts, but nothing in it is as important as the time I am given with those who have molded me into the creature I am today. I’m the luckiest person I know, I was born not only into a loving, generous, and supportive family, but into my three best friends. It was the ten best days of Christmas and the happiest New Year of my life.

A Whole New World

After six months of twiddling my thumbs, contemplating the blue tile that covers every inch of my house (except of course my once white bathroom), reading an entire library full of books, and wasting hours on end coming up with things to Google, I have finally found more productive ways to spend my time. Or, maybe it’s just that the people around me have figured out how to put me to work . . . regardless, it’s heaven!!!

I’m actually teaching – and I mean really teaching. I spend Monday and Thursday mornings at the high school down the street from my house, until it’s time to walk home, grab lunch, exchange my skirt for more bike appropriate attire, and ride to the elementary school about three miles away. Tuesdays and Wednesdays are spent in much the same fashion, only I spend the mornings at the elementary school and the afternoons at the high school. There has been time set aside to lesson plan and both of my counterparts have suddenly come to terms with how important I think this is and so sit down and humor me for about an hour each week. It’s marvelous!!!! I walk into class everyday and we essentially know what we are going to teach, how we are going to teach it, and what we need to get the job done. I’m 100% positive my co-teachers have yet to be convinced of the great service we are not only doing each other, but our students, by being prepared – and really as far as I’m concerned, I don’t care if they spend the next year and four months pretending to think this is a grand and novel idea as long as it keeps happening.

Again, I have no idea what caused such drastic changes, but something in the water must have made these women see the light, because all of the sudden I am not only seen as a good resource in terms of pronunciation practice and curriculum development, but I nearly have full control over the classes. Tuke, my counterpart at the elementary school, acts like a student; she participates in all the activities, completes all of the assignments, and takes copious notes while I teach her 9, 10, and 11 year olds. When I really get stuck and just need a direct translation she jumps in and throws the kids (and me) a bone, but aside from a few comments here and there she sits back and lets me do my thing. Teaching English as a Foreign Language is far more different that I ever could have imagined. I thought coming here that I had this thing in the bag – I mean I spent the last 5 years of my life completely consumed with learning, discussing, practicing, and contemplating this whole teaching thing. Apparently it kind of makes a difference when your students can actually understand a single freaking word that comes out of your mouth. So, I go in everyday and I wing it; I do more acting, dancing, singing, and drawing than I do true teaching and usually the point I am trying to make is completely lost to them, but they are laughing, and singing, and dancing, and drawing right along with me . . . sometimes I figure it’s enough to just have some fun and that’s exactly what I’m doing.

My degree is in Secondary English Education and I fully intend to return to the states and set up camp in a high school setting somewhere. However, here, in this context, I love the little kids; they are excited to learn and eager to please. Mostly they are still young enough to think that EVERYTHING I do is super cool, so they are absolutely easy to entertain and enthusiastic about even the lamest of lame ideas I come up with. There are days when I have to do nothing but drill and kill to get them to really understand and become familiar with the vocabulary. All I have to do is say the words at different speeds, yell them, whisper them, stutter them, draw them out as long as I can, or leave parts of them out completely and they are in utter rapture for an entire hour of learning a simple 10 words. It is amazing.

They are adorable, they are completely amusing, and they are a blast. We play lots of games, create bushels of art projects, invent noises and actions to represent all sorts of words and sets of instructions, and somewhere in the midst of all the silliness I think we are learning from each other. I can tell them to open up their notebooks and copy the writing on the board accompanied by pictures of the vocabulary and they immediately know what I am requesting. I am able to tell them how many minutes they have to complete an assignment and they all hold up the right amount of fingers. They are even to the point that they tell me when they need more time or are confused . . . this is unheard of in a Thai classroom, where questions come across as a personal assault to the teacher. And for my part I know when they are truly lost and don’t know how to begin asking for help, I can tell when they are bored and need something new to keep their attention, and I’m getting really good at understanding when they translate my instructions into Thai so I can correct them when they are going astray.

It was such a welcome surprise to realize how little the cement walls of my hut were giving back in our isolated little relationship. I am getting out of my house, seeing people, getting to know my community, and building real relationships with my students. It reminds me a little bit of training, when I was welcomed by a parade of people on my way home each day, as I ride my bike up to the elementary school – in a matter of seconds I am surrounded by waving, shouting, groping little kids saying hello to Kru Happy (English Translation: Teacher Abby) and equipped with a bottle of cold water. I recognize and am recognized by people on my way to and from and have come to expect smiles, hellos, and waves from vendors and community members along my path. It’s starting to feel like home.

The actual act of teaching in the high school is far more challenging and a lot less entertaining. There is a group of students who have really dedicated themselves to learning the language and so participate in the lessons without coercion. Then there is a chunk of students who could simply not care less and do not see the relevance in learning English – these students tend to be boys and they are largely favored for it. And finally there is the extremely high volume of students with learning disabilities that simply get over looked, because “they can’t learn anyway.” Talk about a melting pot – only the ingredients don’t really complement one another and while the cheese melts up all nice and creamy it quickly begins to curdle as the other elements are added. Girls here are taught from a very young age (like birth) that they will never be as good as boys and so should spend their lives taking care of men and doing whatever is necessary to land one. This is in no way conducive to a productive learning environment. The girls study hard and most of them are way ahead of the game, so they finish their work and then move on to finish that of the boy sitting three rows back. This drives me crazy!! I wander around helping the large handful of students who are so far behind and struggle so severely that they have given up right along with their instructors and as I do I keep my eyes out for cheating and copying. I actually took a boy’s work away from a girl, drew a big X through it and handed it back to him to do on his own; three minutes later the kid next to him was doing it, so I repeated the process and told him to start over; I sat and watched him work on it for a few minutes and moved on. When I returned to check on him, he was doing the work, but was copying off of a friend, so another X was scratched across the page and he finally got serious and did it himself the fourth time. This isn’t a rare happening and I have made it my charge to see that it stops, even if just in my classroom. I am making a name for myself, they call me Teacher Mai Copy (mai means no), and they’re all a lot more edgy than when I first started working with them.

The diversity in ability levels and interest in the language makes the older kids less fun. They are also at an age when they aren’t easy to entertain and they certainly do not think I am a super hero; in fact, I have to work extremely hard for my “cool” points with them. But, I have found ways to start weaving myself into the fabric of their lives and the more of this I do the better response I get in class. Who would have ever thought . . . if you take the time to get to know someone they actually learn to trust and respect you. In this vein I have started stopping by after school on occasion and playing volleyball with some of the girls, I shop at places I know my student’s parents own, and I show up for all of the extra activities that happen when I’m not at the other school. It’s a different dynamic and a lot more work, but equally rewarding.

So, between biking like crazy, lesson planning, material making, teaching, playing volleyball and stalking students, planning teacher trainings, and getting ready for English camps my idle time has been significantly cut into and I couldn’t be more thankful for it.

I came here to teach, that shouldn’t be news to anyone. It was driving me crazy to sit around and watch someone else flounder when I could do a perfect breast stroke. But, getting more involved in the classroom has also been eye opening in terms of how much I was missing out on by not getting out of my house more often. My students and counterparts lit a fire under me and now I’m running around like a crazy person never saying no to anyone. I went to a vineyard and mountain temple with one of my counterparts; I accepted an invitation from my principal to join a group of teachers and principals for a night out on the town; I have even started going to aerobics again. All things I have been missing out on while I sat around feeling lonely and sorry for myself. Self pity is an ugly thing and being a hermit didn’t do me any good. This whole time, all I had to do was put the book down and go for a walk . . . something that shouldn’t have been all that hard for a person with two working legs. There was a whole village of people just waiting for me to outgrow my shell and come looking for a new one . . . I’m glad I did.

                                     

My counterpart and I spent an afternoon touring a vineyard and climbed hundreds of steps up to a beautiful temple on a mountain just outside Ban Chang. Then the very next night I joined the group previously mentioned for dinner and a show. This wasn’t quite the success that the last field trip was, but it makes for a good story. We went to a tourist town about thirty minutes down the road and had dinner by the sea. I ate about twice my body weight in food and thought I was going to explode, when someone looked around a came to the astonishing realization that there was nothing but Thai food, on this Thai table, in this Thai restaurant, in Thailand. They demanded that I be made a tuna salad. I couldn’t bear the thought of another single morsel of food reaching my palate, but there was no stopping her, she was on a mission. So, I unbuttoned the top button on my jeans, took a deep breath, downed the thing and we were off to the show. Thais have kind of warped idea of what it means to be entertained and they took me to a cabaret show. I sat through about forty-five minutes of the transvestites with great boobs and hardly anything on dancing around and lip sinking to really bad remakes, when it hit me. Now, whether it was the food that got to me or the strip tease taking place in front of my eyes is still up for debate, but regardless something offended my insides and I was sure to be sick. I got up and rushed to the bathroom and let exit all the food that forcefully entered my gut. I missed the last few minutes of the show (darn) and met up with everyone at the car, where I informed them of my illness. We headed for home, but were forced to stop six more times in my honor . . . it was awful, but I don’t think I’ll have to go to another cabaret show and they’ll probably think twice before packing me plum full of tuna again.

Oh, and did I mention aerobics????? Well it is the single most hilarious thing I have ever taken part in and I’m pretty sure that lying in bed watching movies causes me to break more of a sweat. I was given the option of two different home stay families when I moved here, neither of which actually had room for me to live with them, but both take good care of me. Pi Laan, is one of them and she does aerobics at the health station behind my house. This week she decided that it was silly that I wasn’t going and so started to come over and get me before hand. This is something I would have previously declined, but saying no doesn’t go with my new attempts at happiness and integration, so I put on my tennis and went. What I found was a bunch of middle aged and old women hoolahooping their hips off. I was dumb struck. When I asked about it, they all claimed that is was the best exercise they had ever done and got me all hooked up with equipment of my own. We hoolahooped around for about 15 minutes and then the actual class started. The class consists of 10 minutes of stretching, 15 minutes of aerobic dancing, which is more of a wiggle and shake here and there, and then 15 minutes of “ab” exercise (otherwise known as lying on your back and chatting with your neighbor), and finally after all that exertion we stretch again, because cooling down is of the utmost importance. I went every night all week and found that it actually was a good stomach workout . . . well, the sitting around yapping isn’t, but dying of laughter does wonders to tone the midsection. It’s really just one more way to get to know people and become familiar to the people who have surrounded me for months.

I joined the Peace Corps to fulfill a lifelong dream, to teach, and to become a better me. I am having to stare down my demons, my insecurities, and my fears and every time I overcome one I know that I am here doing the right thing for the right reasons and that I am going to come home really knowing myself. It took me six months, but I shed a layer of myself that was holding me back and for the first time since moving here I feel free.

Roy Kratong

Today was the first day of the new term and I packed it full of expectations. My schedule has been adjusted in such a way that it allows me to attend both schools for half a day, each day, instead of alternating them every other day. There was also time set aside specifically for planning and preparing with my counterparts before attempting to instruct as a team. I have been excitedly awaiting these changes and anticipating the great difference they were created to make in my efforts here . . . I may have jumped the gun a little.

I got up this morning, walked across the street to school and the day started out like all the others of the past. It was disheartening to once again be relegated to master pronouncer of difficult words; however, I was determined to make this term different, so I walked around the class, made small comments, and inserted myself when ever and where ever possible. It wasn't what I was hoping for, but it was something. As the students filed out of the classroom for lunch, I packed up my belongings, said my "see you tomorrows" and headed for home, where a quick change of clothes, a bite to eat, and a bike ride to school number two were awaiting me. It was then that I got the call.



My second school decided that it would be best if I started tomorrow instead of today for seemingly no reason at all. This follows perfectly the pattern that emerged last term. I would get ready to go and would get a call canceling on me for the day, the week, or the month until I stopped going at all. This was a big blow to all my glorious plans, but nothing very surprising.



So, I threw my hands in the air and thought to myself - "at least I still have a shelf full of good books to read." And with that I sat down and once again lost myself to literature. But it wasn't long until I received yet another phone call.

Today is Roy Kratong day, which is a National Thai holiday, created by a queen who decided that during November's full moon there needed to be a celebration of the river. Each year for two days Thai people take the opportunity to thank the rivers for continuing to flow in order to nourish the land and quench the nation's thirst. The festivities are hosted at temples all around the country, which meant that the temple connected to my school would be in the midst of the celebrating. My principal suggested that he would like me to attend and that he would be looking for me all night. Later in the day Tip called, ripping me from my novel induced trance, and said that she would come over sometime this evening and take me with her.

I was looking forward to engaging in a Thai tradition that I have yet to experience and was excited at the prospect of getting out of the house and doing something fun and interactive. So, I got all ready for an evening of fun and fascination and then sat and waited, and waited, and waited, and, that's right, waited some more. It got to be close to 8:00 in the evening and there was still no sign of my Roy Kratong companion. It was all getting to be a little too much to take. First I have my hopes slightly reduced by the morning's less then successful attempts at team teaching, then they are crushed by the lack of any attempt made at all in the afternoon, and finally I sat patiently listening to the fireworks and laughter that wafted through my windows on a cloud of Thai scented delicacies that were certainly out in full force just seconds away. I was about to give up and go on my own, when a truck pulled up in front of my house and the night quickly took a turn for the better.

Tip brought Aum, which is always an extreme pleasure, and Tu (a woman who lives with and helps Tip out) came along as well. As we walked to the temple the streets were lined with neon lights that turned the atmosphere into something resembling a carnival or the county fair. As we approached the temple I came face to face with all the food that had been saturating my home with mouth watering temptation and every single student I see throughout the day. There were hundreds of people there, buying balloons, eating like the rich and the famous (except that is was all fried, served from a cart, and was usually made of an unidentifiable substance), singing songs, making offerings to the monks, having fashion shows, and releasing flowers of gratitude into the water. I participated in the eating, making offerings to the monks, and gave thanks to the H2O.

Flowers and banana leaves are stock piled for weeks before this holiday begins in order to make little boats to float down the river. I chose a vessel made of colored ice-cream cone pieces because I liked the idea that they were made for the fish to feast upon. Aum, Tip, and I went down to the water, while Tu took a barrage of pictures, and said our prayers before sending the sweet creations to float. Each boat is equipped with incense and a candle that are lit before they enter the water, so as you stand watching yours fade way you see it merge with the hundreds of others following the same path. It is beautiful.

I needed to feel a part of my community; I needed to feel part of a family; I needed to see Thai people taking part in something they deem truly important and meaningful. After a long and frustrating day, it felt so refreshing to stand with Aum's little hand in mine, Tip at my side, and fireworks in the sky. Everyone was at their best and it was rejuvenating to be a part of it all. There are times when a Thai schedule and lack of work ethic really start to drag me down, but then nights like tonight happen and I realize that no matter how irritated I get with the lack of productivity, I am still surrounded by genuinely good people who have taken me in and deserve more credit than I tend do give.

Happy Roy Kratong Day.

A Whole Lot of Catching Up!!!

English Camp . . .

About a month ago I became completely fed up with my lack of productivity. I love to read, if there is a person in this world who can sit and become completely absorbed in literature, it is me - but there has to be something more to joining the Peace Corps than watching the tally on my "goodreads" page continue to climb. So, sick of sitting around watching the minutes and hours on the clock pass by, I decided to put my schools on the back burner for a bit and see if anyone else near me was looking for help. I made fliers in English and Thai that explained that there was an English speaking volunteer in the area that would be willing to put on Teacher Trainings and English Camps if anyone was interested. Within the week I had 3 English Camps scheduled. These are not my favorite things to do, because they usually end up feeling more like a day of babysitting than learning, but I was up for anything at this point and so went for it.

Unlike the United States, Thailand does not have a Christmas, Thanksgiving, or spring break built into the school year; they do, however, take the month of October off between the first and second terms. It was due to this vacation time that I have only put on one of the three camps thus far. And here is how it went.

Usually I would be expected to create the schedule, provide the teachers, make the materials, plan for catering, and lead the big group activities. On this particular occasion, the camp was already planned and ready to go, but the school thought it would be a beneficial addition to have a native speaker of the language and so invited me to participate without having to do any of the planning. I gladly accepted the offer and was picked up early one Thursday morning and taken to meet the campers. Like most English Camps, this started out with a big group energizer, speeches given by the principals that go on way too long, acknowledgment of the Buddha, another big group activity, and then dividing the students into groups. A Thai teacher, with minimal English skills generally MCs the large group activities, engaging the kids in grammatically incorrect songs, nonsensical games, and then gibbers on in Thai for about 30 minutes of the "English" camp. This experience was much the same.

Once the campers were put into their respective groups they were sent off for a day full of fun and learning. I was assigned Food and Drinks for a topic and was expected to have the students fluent in all things edible within an hour. So, instead I got out flash cards, made sure they knew the names of each culinary item, and then we had vocabulary relay races. We colored pictures, made menus of our favorite foods, and then ended the session by pretending we were at a restaurant ordering tasty treats. They seemed to enjoy themselves and were all excited to participate in the "Farang's" (foreigner's) activities.

While, I felt like this was a fairly successful camp and was impressed by the efficient nature in which is was being run, there was something missing . . . something I was soon to discover, to the dismay of the eleven principals, and eight-teen teachers in attendance.

You see, as efficiently as this particular English Day was being executed, the individuals in charge were still Thai and so have a very warped notion of time. I was unable to eat a single dish being served for lunch, as it was all heaped with peppers and the smell of it alone sent me into a fit of suffocating coughs - it was like I walked into a room which had all the oxygen replaced with pepper spray, and was expected to just keep on breathing! Needless to say, that wasn't going to work out, so I headed back to the auditorium where my belongings were left (I always keep a granola bar on hand) and where we would be meeting back up with all the students after lunch. When 1:00 rolled around and the teachers had yet to return to get the second half of the day under way, it came to me.

There they all were - 200 ten to twelve year olds, sitting in perfect rows, waiting for their instructors to return, and knowing that it could be days before they chose to - and all at once I realized what it was that had been missing all along . . . chaos and disorder.

So, in this train of thought, I grabbed the microphone and started getting them to mimic my frenzied clapping, then I started dancing around and had them copy that as well. I had them singing songs, playing games, screaming and yelling, laughing, running, sitting down, standing up, rolling around on the floor, and climbing all over the room and each other for a solid 30 minutes. It was amazing; I worked them into such a manic frenzy it was as if they were hopped up on 10 lbs of koolaid and and a pint of Ben and Jerri's each. Once they were absolutely beyond any and all control I looked up and saw my counterparts standing in complete shock at the awe inspiring disaster that was taking place before them. Some how I was able to calm them down enough to get them back in their rows and off to their next station for the beginning of the afternoon, but it was clear that it was going to take a true miracle to achieve a state of calm and quiet again for the rest of the afternoon.

While I had an absolute blast and would repeat the episode in a heart beat, I'm not sure anyone else in charge would agree . . . I'd be shocked if they invited me back. But, learning is supposed to be fun and sitting around waiting for someone to fill them with knowledge just wasn't going to cut it. This was my first venture into productivity, my first attempt at being a bigger part of more of my community, and great opportunity to get to spend time with the people I love most and came here for - students. It was a success, exhausting, and totally entertaining.

Field Trip . . .

Three days after my tornado of and English Camp, the middle/high school in which I "teach" was taking the students on a field trip. For the entire term they were taking part in a nation wide competition called "Dream School." It was called a competition, because eventually there is a school named Thailand's "Dream School," but in all actuality it is a ridiculous undertaking that schools are expected to take part in and they are required to continue modifying and improving their "Dream School" performance until the judges deem it good enough to pass. Some schools (those with lots of money and resources) pass on the first try, those of us, however, who are less fortunate are forced to do this whole song and dance over and over and over again. This would all make sense if there was a shred of academic merit to a single second of it, but students are expected to dress up and dance, sing songs, give speeches, and lead tours of the school. The practice and preparation took the students out of the classroom for an entire term and had them learning to fake greatness instead of teaching them to actually achieve it. With that being said, after six attempts the school finally passed and was allowed to end the struggle to please these unrealistic judges. In celebration of the "Dream School's" completion we went on a field trip.

Tip (my counterpart) and I were in charge of the 9th grade class and so were asked to be at the school at 5:30 on Friday morning for a head count and to get everyone on the bus. To my great pleasure, when I arrived, I saw that Tip brought along her seven year old daughter Aum. She is one of my favorite people here and the object of most of my affection while at site . . . it started out a good day. When we made sure the students were all there and made note of those who weren't we got on the bus and headed for Bangkok. Now, it should be mentioned that buses in this country are nothing like what you are picturing at this very moment in your mind; they are plagued with Thailand's two biggest flaws . . . volume and temperature control.

It is like they think that because this is probably the HOTTEST place on the face of the planet earth that they should create the polar ice caps whenever possible. Buses have air condition (for the most part) and it is generally turned up to such a degree that one can see their breath with little to no effort. As if that weren't bad enough they also usually are fully equipped with large speaker systems, T.V.s, and Karaoke. Still don't think I have a legitimate reason to complain? Well, they love to turn the volume up so loud that one's ears ring for days following the trip and the music being played, if you're lucky, is some mushy Thai pop song with music video. If you are one of the more unfortunate travelers, which on this particular day I just so happened to be, they actually have a mic and they sing Karaoke the entire way. Just imagine it . . . 60 9th graders stuck on a bus that is below freezing, singing karaoke songs at the top of their longs, some how forgetting that the little apparatus in their hands actually makes their voices louder all on its own, without their pitchy attempts to project.

Don't worry, I survived and was one of the more blessed victims in fact, because my ticket was a one way deal.

Getting on with the actual field trip. We made three stops in total: the first was a quick refreshment and bathroom break, for anyone who couldn't figure out how to hold it for a 2 hour bus ride (bladder control people . . . I mean come on!), the second was to a huge park that housed eight different museums. We went to three of them, and then headed for our third and final destination - "Dream World" (no connection to the previously mentioned contest). Not needing to use the restroom I passed up the chance to stretch my legs on the first stop, but was in charge of 10 students on the next, so had to get off the bus and get involved.

We went to the museum of technology, the museum of natural history, and the museum of art. The museums were well done and full of interesting displays. Being in charge of a group of students who wanted nothing to do with each other or me, however, was a bit of a struggle. Not to mention the fact that Aum decided to come with me instead of her mom and she was nearly impossible to keep track of. She is tiny (just like me at that age) and loves to get lost in the crowd, only to double back and laugh hysterically when you turn around in a frantic panic to find her. So, while I was interested in the contents of the museums themselves, I had my hands full and can honestly not remember a single thing I learned or saw. I was extremely relieved when we ate lunch, got back on the bus, and put people back in charge of their own destinies.

Final Stop - "Dream World": This is an amusement park with rides, haunted houses, paddle boats, and 3-D movies. Here we gave the students their tickets, told them when to be back on the buses, and let them do their own thing. This was great news to me, because that meant I got Aum all to myself and we had a blast. Tip doesn't like the rides, and wouldn't do a lot of what was there, so I took Aum and we experienced every single thing she was tall enough to enjoy.

I must say, that had it not been for my little companion this would have been something of a disappointing world meant to represent the majestic nature of dreams. There were no big roller coasters, nothing that sent you flying through the air, flipping, turning, diving, racing toward the unforgivable solidity of pavement right before throwing you back into the air, and ending in an immediate and exhilarating halt. Really, it kind of made kiddie land at any amusement park in the States look like a state of the art land of thrills. But paddle boats, mini roller coasters, bumper cars, and haunted houses were enough to keep Aum entertained and that was the goal . . . objective achieved.

For me, this was the end of the road - unfortunately for the rest of the staff, they had to relive the karaoke bus ride one more time before returning home. The field trip was perfect timing for me, as it was on a Friday and it just so happened that it required a trip to Bangkok, where I had plans to spend the weekend - which brings me to the next portion of this novel length update.

Arnie and Brooke . . .

Right around the time I arrived at site I received an e-mail from my Dad informing me that Arnie, an old family friend known as Uncle Arnie, was considering moving to Bangkok to teach at an international school. I was excited about the prospect of having family within such close proximity and wondered how it would effect my time here. Seeing as how I seem to have nothing but time on my hands, I decided that it would be a really nice escape and even better, he was bringing his daughter Brooke, so it was going to give me a chance to know her too.

So, after a full day of field tripping and playing big sister to Aum, I was off to meet up with Arnie and Brooke for the weekend. I had only ever met Brooke once, when she was about five, so didn't really know her at all. Arnie on the other hand, has always been a presence in my life on some level. When I was just a little kid he was one of my very favorite people in the world. He would come over and wrestle with me and Cody until I was covered in whisker burn, Cody ran out of breath and exhausted the deep belly laugh we all loved so much, and Arnie couldn't hardly walk. After years of being my play toy, friend, uncle, supporter, and confidante he decided to move to Africa to pursue a career in international teaching.

I still vividly remember the day my dad told me he wouldn't be around any more. I was at my grandma's house sitting in the lazy boy recliner, which was the only necessary piece of furniture in the whole house, and watching "Bewitched;" I fully admit to being an overly emotional person and know that I take things more seriously than is reasonable on any level, so it should have come as no surprise to anyone when the news hit me like a semi going full speed. I thought my whole world was crumbling beneath me and that I would never survive such a devastating heart break. Good news . . . I survived and instead of letting it kill me, I found sanctuary and joy in making him my e-mail buddy. He was the first of many and, I believe, the start of my passion for staying in touch and connected to people. He stayed in Africa for years, moved back to the states, but never back to Colorado, and is now here - and through it all we have always been in contact.

So, it was easy to pick up where we left off when it came time to reunite. Granted, there would be no wrestling match, but there was lots of great conversation and I was spoiled like the princess I have always secretly known I am. We met for dinner at a big mall, went to a movie, and then headed to his house for the weekend. It was like entering the twilight zone after being at site for nearly 6 months. His housing development is called "Perfect Place" and literally is about as close as Thailand gets. It was full of beautiful, cared for houses, manicured yards, parks, and trails; the school was nicer than most college campuses in the country, and the small town right outside the development was made up of cute little restaurants, various Thai markets, and all the essentials a person could want or need. I felt like I stepped off a plane and was back in the states for a few days. It was fabulous.

We spent our time talking, watching movies, and playing with Brooke. She is adorable, at 9 years old, full of life and energy, and has a truly sweet affect. She told stories, played in the pool, taught me a thing or two about badminton, cuddled with me at night, and colored me a picture to take home before I left. It was perfect.

It was so comforting to be with people who love me, who know me, and who share some of my history. I love the friends I have made here and am sure they will continue to be a part of my life forever, but there is something to say about people who have always known you and love you because they have experienced a substantial part of your life with you. I miss being at home because I miss being around familiar people, who know what my good and bad days look like, and who love me regardless . . . this was a little touch of that, much needed and much appreciated. I fully intend to spend the next year and a half in their company on a regular basis.

Vacation!!! . . .

After six months at site and nine months in country, I decided it was time to take a real vacation. The trip was divided into two very distinctly different experiences. The first half was spent with a friend (Bethany) on the southern island of Kho Samui, taking part in a health retreat. The second half of the time was spent on an island only two hours away, called Kho Tao, where we met up with two other friends (Sarah and Hayden) and enjoyed the beach and being tourists for a week.

Vacation, Week One - Health Retreat:

Living in Thailand is full of interesting struggles and they are different for everyone; for me it has been getting a handle on my diet. The food here is full of MSG, random chemicals, sugar, salt, and EVERYTHING is fried. I know it's hard to believe, but I have been fighting and failing to maintain my figure in a place where everything is so bad for me and tastes so good. I eat dinner with my neighbor four nights a week and have no control over what I'm being fed and the rest of the time I feel so clueless that I eat whatever is around, or whatever someone puts in front of me. It has taken its toll on me physically and emotionally and I was really ready to take the control back and figure out how to be a healthier person while I'm here.

Bethany spent weeks researching and found a health retreat called "Darma Healing Center" and signed us up. This was an intense way to learn about my body's needs, but it was a great experience and totally worth it. We were only allowed to eat fruits and vegetables for 48 hours before arriving, and we would be fasting the whole seven days we spent there. It was one of the hardest things I have ever done, and really rewarding. We were also asked to do two colonics a day, one with tea and the other with coffee. While I am sure it would be hilarious to go into great detail about the intricasies of this process, it might cause some of my readers minor discomfort, and honestly I'm a little embarrassed about it myself . . . so, I'll spare you the nitty gritty and just say, that it was interesting.

Our days were spent in classes at a bungalow right on the beach, learning about the benefits of healthy eating, what to eat when, and how to prepare things. We also engaged in yoga, a lesson on the healing power of sound (where a man came and did a demonstration with Tebitin singing bowls), creative cleansing, and a whole class on coconuts. In case anyone was wondering, coconuts are like magic . . . they will save your life, keep you young, flavor your food, and keep you from being thristy, so eat them up!! There was a day spent in the kitchen; we made our own juice (and were allowed to drink it), then we made a whole pile of things that would help us break our fasts more successfully. It was extremely difficult to prepare food that I was unable to eat for another three days - I was really grumpy on that particular day :)

The retreat included two massages, a text book, all the classes, and the supplements we took each day. There was a spoonful of clay to be ingested in the morning, and a glass of herbs that made me want to vomit air, seeing as that was all that was in my stomach, two cocnuts a day, and broth (which was water with some garlic in it) each night. The herbs made it so I wasn't physically hungry, but there was no doubt in my mind that my brain was hungry; I thought about food every second of every day I was there.

So, that was our first week. We spent it torturing ourselves and learning to be more healthy individuals, while we cleansed our bodies of the distruction we have been causing since arriving in this country. I learned a lot, loved the classes, enjoyed sitting on the beach reading my books, and was with great company. It was fabulous, though we got the order wrong, because week two was not at all a week of health.

Vacation, Week Two - Kho Tao:

Once the fast was over Bethany and I headed for the next island to meet Sarah and Hayden. Kho Tao is far more beautiful and much more relaxing than Koh Samui, which is dirty, busy, and kind of hard to navigate. On Kho Tao we were able to stay in a bungalow for 4 right on the beach for dollars a night. The beach was fabulous, great for swimming, and perfect to get a nice tan and read a good book. We spent most of our days just laying around soaking up the sun and enjoying the fact that our shoulders were showing and no one even seemed to notice, let alone care.

Koh Tao is a small island and a major destination for divers. There were more foreigners there than there were Thai people, and it was easy to get around. The small streets are lined with food vendors, little shops, and great restaurants. So, we took advantage of all of this and spent most of our afternoons, when it got too hot to sit on the beach, shopping and eating. That's right . . . we ate! We ate anything and everything there was to eat with absolutely not regard for it's nutritional benefits, or lack there of. I had a minimun of 3 coconut milk shakes a day, endless snacks, and huge meals - it was heaven and completely negated any and all progress I made at the retreat. We should have planned the trip in the opposite order :)

Nights were a bit more lively for us. We would take one last evening swim and watch the sunset in the ocean, then we would head back to the bungalow and get dressed for dinner and a night on the town. Hold on to your seats because this is about to get exciting. After grourging on some delicious treat for dinner we would head off to some bar or another, order coconut shakes, and spend the rest of the night playing travel scrabble!!! It was amazing. I finally met people who are just as nerdy as me and they embrace it . . . it made for a great vacation, spent with just the right kind of people.

The return home was a 10 hour, over night bus ride to Bangkok, a sleepless night at the Peace Corps office, and another bus ride back to site the following day. It was daunting, but a nice way to ease back into the solitude that awaits me whenever I am in Ban Chang.

Now . . .

Now, I am back at site and getting ready for school to start next week. I've been continuing my steady diet of good books, and have spent a lot of time planning for the term to come. We made some major schedule changes and have worked to come up with ways to make this a more successful experience for everyone involved. So, I am hopeful that things will start to turn around, and if not, I'm back to the English Camp gig.

I'm spending Thanksgiving in Bangkok with the other volunteers because we don't get American holidays off and there is no planned celebration. So, we have all decided to get together and have dinner and spend the weekend in good company. December is going to be an exciting time because the day I turn 24 my family will be arriving for a two week stay. We have a Mid-service Conference held by Peace Corps in January, where we get a bunch of medical stuff taken care of and we get together to talk about what has been going on in the year since we got here, and Alberto is talking about having me go to Virginia to see him in the middle of Feburary. So there is lots going on and lots to look forward to. If I work hard, make my time here count, and look forward to the treasures coming my way, the next three months should fly by.

The solitude and inactivity are getting to be less and and less of a frustration as I get better and better at entertaining myself, finding productive ways to spend my time, and plan for the future. There have been days when leaving was a serious consideration, now I know that this adventure wasn't embarked upon only to do what I can to help while I'm here, but force me to take a good, long, hard look in the mirror and learn to see myself - keep the things I like and learn to improve upon the things I don't.

And with that, you are completely up to date on all things Abbylee.